Thursday, December 11, 2014

The Movie Stealth- Not So Stealthy At All!

OK< before I go any further, I want to make one thing perfectly clear- this movie sucked. It violates me. It's horrible. And it took me years to see the entire movie, and even then it was in small, max 15 minute clips. It was that horrible.

First of all, a look at the "stealth" aircraft:

ASW Fake FA37

Gaps, gaps and more gaps. That gap between the engines above might actually amplify radar waves before propigating them arounf the aircraft shell and then out to any receiver. The huge gaps in the swing wing? Yeah, radar reflector. The engine... thing? Opening? No, IR broadcaster there.

And its aerodynamics: The way its wings fold forward to go "hypersonic"? Nope, CoG shifts BACKward when you go through the sonic barrier, even hyhpersonic, so this aircraft would tumble and probably destroy itself in the attempt. That nose? Oh, that nose, would aerodynamically force itself schnozz first into the end of the carrier deck, or the pretty blue waves in front of the carrier. Aerodynamically, this thing is as big as an airfoil flop as are George Lucas' X-Wing fighters. Maybe even worse. X-Wings could at least go ballistic.

The engine shape might look cool, but I see no space for a round engine in that bay whatsoever. I could be wrong, but I do know about the loss of thrust when converting a round column of thrust into a big, flat exhaust like that.

Then there's the attack scenes, where the "FA-37s" drop to within hundreds of feet to deliver rocket-propelled smart bombs. Hey, Hollywood, stealth doesn't matter if the stealth aircraft attacks in daylight, within eyeball range. Ever notice how the LGB footage seems from so far away? Because that's part of being stealthy, being far away when the bombs hit. And yes, the USAF and Navy DO have rocket-propelled LGBs, and they're delivered from even FARTHER away.

And the big solution to bombing the skyscraper with some bad guys underneath it in a bunker turned my brain into an alchemist's delight- all sorts of strange metals were seeping out my ears, nose and mouth. Fly up, then straight down, and make the bomb have a max velocity through the.... I have to stop, it's too ridiculous. And ridiculous here is like saying "cute" compared to what I want to say.

Well, that's the end of the review. In short, this movie has no redeeming qualities. At all. None, it so patently, effortfully, destroys all factuality and true suspense of what a real futuristic aviation movie should be, well, it sucks so bad I had to make words up to avoid a blue streak.

Well, it does have Jessica Biel in a flight suit and a bikini. Watch for those scenes...

But outside of those, screw it. You like it? Wow, please don't respond. But tell your friends to come and check out my blog!

Watch for more movie reviews coming soon! Including" Soar Into the Sun, Red Tails, Top Gun, and more!